"L’Equipe magazine"
January 2008
Written by Karim Ben Ismail
Translated from French by magician10
“I feel the need to return to soccer”
A year and a half after his retirement, his words are still very rare.
Exclusively for "L’Equipe magazine", the former number 10 of “Les Bleus”
discusses his new life in other fields. And he begins to miss soccer…"
He’s not easy to catch, Zizou. Bangladesh ... Algeria ..., it took L’Equipe
Magazine over a year to track and seek him for an interview. Zinédine Zidane
agreed on the principle but remained inaccessible. He visited other places:
Niger, Egypt, Indonesia ... Then, a week before Christmas, he finally made an
appearance. "I promised and I keep my promises " even if "talking only to talk"
doesn’t interest him. Zidane thinks that this time he "has something to say" on
the occasion of the release of "his" DVD, "The Last Match", a documentary
testament in which he was involved from the shooting to the cutting. He opens up
like he has rarely ever done before and even persuaded his own mother to
participate. He welcomes us in the room of a large Parisian hotel, nice
expression on his face, nice look. And he’s eager to talk.
Zinédine, where did you come from this time?
Z: "I left Madrid early this morning for Maubeuge near the Belgian border. I
filmed a report for a television show there," The challenges of ELA (the
association that fights Leucodystrophy, the program was broadcasted on January
12). Annually, celebrities have to outgrow themselves and take a personal
challenge. Last year, I learned how to ride a horse, this time I did a parachute
jump (he closes his eyes and puts his hands over them). And here I am in Paris.
Well, this was all I did today
A nice rush of adrenaline...
Z: Oh yes! Especially because it was the first time. The idea was to make
something unique. I wasn’t afraid, it was more of an excitement when the plane
took off. You know that you are going to jump, but you don’t know when. They
explain to you how it will happen and you are accompanied by people who have
jumped nearly 8000 times, they make you feel safe... But when the door opens at
4 50 0 metres above sea level and you have to jump... (Takes a deep breath.) You
think you’re going to take your time but No! When the door opens you have to
jump directly. No hesitation. I jumped twice. Always in tandem. (with another
person) I wanted to jump alone, but there was too much wind. After the first
jump, we found ourselves two kilometres away from the place where we originally
intended to land. On a potato field. I wanted to carry out the landing, but the
mentor had to intervene. An incredible experience (?)!
The moment when the cabin door opened…was it comparable to a moment you
experienced during your career?
Z: No, not at all, because there’s no time to think. "It's boom-boom-boom" three
seconds of cardiac acceleration and it’s over! It’s a fast rise. The emotion
returns if you only talk about it. It’s not natural to throw yourself out of a
flying aircraft. Then, in free fall, you drop 200 kilometres per hour. Yes,
that’s where you have time to think. The fifty seconds before the parachute
opens, between 4000 and 2000 meters, have the look of a soccer action. The
professional jumpers start to form figures. Me, you understand that I didn’t do
that. You feel the speed inside your head. I was a little cold, my nose and my
ears took a blow, but it was great! I was with eight members of the French
parachute jumping national team, world champions since 2006. Very special guys,
very relaxed, I take my hat. (enthusiastic) In fact, this year, they will
compete in the World Championships in Maubeuge.
Why parachute jumping? Are you tired of your career but not of adrenaline?
Z: (He pauses.) I don’t regret my decision. But it’s true that today I miss the
pitch. I played seventeen years on the highest level ... Inevitably, when you
stop ... There is a break that is pleasant, this urge to tick it off, but, at a
given moment, you feel that something is lacking. The adrenaline that you want
and need to get out of your system. Not necessarily by competition. Rather by
all these different sensations: the pressure of the game, the victory ... That’s
missing. Today, I’m calm and quiet. I live my life, I spend more time with my
family. I do everything I didn’t have time to do before. I recovered something
and lost something else.
This state of grace where you enjoy your newfound freedom ends when?
Z: Now. The shortage becomes visible a year and a half afterwards.
Athletes admit that they feel "wrong" or even "dirty" when they do not work out
...
Z: Not dingy, but it is true that when I was playing, I didn’t feel well after
two or three weeks of rest. I needed to train every day. Inevitably, when you
don’t take exercise... I began to cop it out during a good moment: I spent two
months on vacation without doing anything. I didn’t even run ten meters! But
after that, I needed to get back in form, so that I won’t get rusty.
You do what (to stay in form)?
Z: In Madrid, I run two or three times a week. My body needs it and my head as
well. It's good to get some fresh air, to make your head clear. When you have
done it all your life, you will get back into it quickly.
Do you know a park to run where you won’t get mobbed?
Z: No, I run on carpet in a gymnasium. I also like to play tennis regularly with
a buddy.
You miss the pitch, they talked about you coming to the United States, to
Chicago, to Los Angeles...is there any truth to it?
Z: Yes. To the proposals at least. Apart from that it’s difficult for me.
So you don’t fancy migrating again?
Z: No, it’s not about that, it would have been a good thing for my children to
learn a new language. It’s more about me wanting to do my best in everything I
start doing. It would be necessary for me to get back into soccer, even if it
was in the United States, in a league one level under the European ones. I would
still have to prepare myself, to get back into it... I didn’t want to be there
as a walk-on.
Torn between eagerness and pride...
Z: That has always been my problem. That's why I stopped. I can not play,
express myself on the pitch if I didn’t want to. It can already be quite
difficult when you want to do it. Sometimes you have bad periods, you are a
little on the streets. (no idea how to translate that part, sorry) So when the
desire is not there, it becomes more complicated. That is what happened at the
end. I wanted to put an end to it. My friends knew that it was the right time.
This wasn’t a decision I made in a week. It was a long process, not a whim like
it had been when I stopped playing for the French team the first time. In
retrospect, I realized that that was a poor decision on my part. I have done
well to come back.
And so, should we understand that you want to touch a ball again?
No. No! I miss the pitch but I have no regrets about my decision. So: no.
Is it true that you went to Qatar?
Z: [I went there] for another reason, to visit facilities. I know people there
who had invited me for a very long time. In 2003, they visited me in Madrid.
They actually wanted me to play but I had declined directly.
Since the end of your career, you have travelled permanently. Does this fit
together with your lust for life?
Z: Yes, and it continues. I want to know, to learn. As a high-level player, you
live in a cocoon and the only things you deal with are your training and your
matches. You travel exactly as much as I do now but we stayed in hotels, doing
nothing but taking rest. Inevitably, when you stop, you yearn for more.
Fortunately my sponsors have given me the opportunity to do so.
An opportunity or a pressure? A return of investments for them…
Z: I never had the impression of having to endure pressure from my sponsors.
It’s always happening as an exchange. Fortunately. I could not function
otherwise. The only restraint that I had to accept, was the one in soccer. But
the pitch was one of my essential needs. Then it became a daily restraint:
eating at a given period, going to sleep at a certain time...This wore me out. I
took my freedom not to let my partners put pressure on me directly afterwards.
When I make a trip to Bangladesh on behalf of Danone, I have a real pleasure
doing so. Same when I prepare a match with the United Nations for "friends of
Zidane and Ronaldo." When I go to Niger as an ambassador of UNDP (UN Programme
for Development), I’m delighted! (he underlines his words with gestures) I take
a pleasure finding myself in the middle of this foreign population, for example,
with this woman who gave birth to triplets. Before this clinic had been built,
the same woman would have had to give birth at home. Look at that, or look at a
writing school frequented by women 50 years of age who are unable to read, stuff
like this makes me happy. And I can share it with my children.
You were in Niger with your children?
Z: Yes, I brought my three children with me. Since three years my son Lucas has
had a correspondent in Niger. He wanted to visit him for a long time. [I’m not
sure if Luca’s correspondent is male or female, I assumed it’s a boy but it
looks like it’s a girl in the article. But maybe I just don’t understand it :P ]
We arranged everything with his teacher. It's good that they see lives different
from their own. I feel very lucky to share this with my children. I’ve also been
able to visit Egypt and Indonesia with them. It's extraordinary!
You remember the time spent away from them...
Z: I do not like the term "catching up". Let’s just say that I do something, I
act. Same with my sponsors, I am not in a process of "paying back". I operate at
the exchange. I learn from others. It's good for Franck Riboud and Danone that I
went to Bangladesh and Egypt with them. But by being with him, I learn a lot.
It's a "win-win".
What have you learned from Bangladesh?
Z: It was my first major trip. I saw a nation who welcomed me in an
extraordinary manner. I didn’t expect to be famous over there. Everything was
interesting: their lifestyles, the different populations, I didn’t even know
they were 140 million.
You are permanently surrounded. When does Zinédine find himself alone?
Z: I don’t search these moments when I travel. I go there to share. I have these
moments at home, when my children are at school. I am alone, often in my kitchen
where I spend a lot of time. These are moments where there’s nothing. The phone
doesn’t ring. I am calm, together with my wife. I can put on some music. It's
good to have time for yourself, to benefit from it. But when I go travelling, I
am not in that state of mind. When I go to Algeria, I know it's going to be five
long days: from 7 am till late at night. I make myself available. Even more so
in Algeria, where I went with my parents.
On the plane to Algeria, you were with your father. What did you see in his eyes?
Z: What happened to him on this trip was quite unbelievable. When we flew over
Algeria, you could see Bejaïa through the window, the land where he grew up ...
The place where we were going on vacation, but for him it was difficult [to live
there]. That’s what I understand when he explains his story to me. He would get
up at 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning and walk barefoot for hours to pick up a few
pennies. I enjoyed watching him in the airplane. I felt very proud going back to
Alergia with him. He went far, he worked hard ...He didn’t do it for nothing.
Your father did nothing cowardly. Did you feel his emotion?
Z: Sure. He was emotional, nervous. There was much going on inside his head. I
think he was a bit afraid of doing it. He was pleased and anxious at the same
time. He was wondering if everything would turn out well. That was great (he
laughs). There were a lot of things passing through his eyes but only those who
knew him could see it.
In France, he slept alone in a shed. Now he returned to the country [Algeria]
like a head of state…
Z: (emotional, raises his arms.) He built everything up alone, together with my
mother. They made their families ascent. It wasn’t only me, the soccer player. I
am the youngest of a family whose members have succeeded, each in their own
field. Mom and Dad created men, wonderful men! And a great woman, my sister. It
was difficult for them but they could reap the fruits of their sacrifices. We,
the five children, we know that we owe it only to them.
Have you returned differently from Algeria?
Z: I returned blessed. We didn’t return for twenty years... I really wanted to
go on this trip with my parents. It's a lot of pride for them. It’s like when
they see their son elected France’s favourite personality. Today, I want to be
like my father.
Do you sleep well at night as a pensioner?
Z: I sleep less. I get up together with my kids now, whereas, when I was playing,
I lay about a lot longer. I had pretexts: training, a match ... Today I am happy
to stand up at 6:30 am. What a delight to get up to prepare the children. But
apart from that, speaking about life or not, I have no problems sleeping.
Do you sometimes relive the lost final against Italy in your dreams? Perhaps
regretting that you walked into the snare of a boor?
Z: I don’t like the word "boor". It happened how it happened... I felt bad
regarding my teammates. Indeed, the first thing I did was to apologize to them.
Immediately, in the locker room. When you practice a team sport, you are not
allowed to leave your buddies alone on the field. Regarding the public, I had an
apology to make. That's what I did two days later. Concerning the rest, I don’t
want to talk about regrets. At any given time, there are hazards, a context that
make things take place…sometimes over your head. It was a difficult moment for
me. At home, I worried about my mother who was sick, oh well... When something
hits you then, you may react in a less good manner.
You have talked about the incident to Lila, your big sister?
Z: I didn’t talk to her about these things. It’s finished. That’s how it is like
in our family. It’s the same with my brothers. They know what I did. They aren’t
happy about it either. They would have liked me to finish the World Cup in
another way. I wanted to leave in another way as well…But it’s done now. It's
like that. It’s good that you picked this topic up again, so that the debate can
be ended once and for all. I will carry this with me for the rest of my life.
Everyone talks about it without a break, that’s bothering me. That’s why I don’t
like doing interviews. I love being concrete. I don’t want to say something only
to talk.
But this gesture remains an irredeemable image. In Bangladesh children wore
banners in allusion to it. In Algiers, on July 5, one of them said: "The dignity
of a man is worth more than a World Cup".
Z: I saw this sign. I haven’t forgotten the incident either. In life there are
things that can make you vulnerable. During certain moments you are human ...
What I want to convey to people is this: Who hasn’t made mistakes in his life?
It is true that the mine was a little bigger, more visible...
When Raymond Domenech said to the Parisien: "I would want to be Materazzi ... We
can say whatever we want, he is the man of that final." How did that make you
feel?
Z: Can we just pass on to the next question?
Does it bother you?
Z: (in a firm tone.) No, I tell you just to proceed to the next question because
it does not interest me at all talking about it.
This year is the tenth anniversary of the 1998 victory. What do you take from
this?
Z: (He takes his time.) World Champion! (With a smile.) Regardless! In France,
in our country. Our generation has been amazingly lucky. To be able to reach
maturity, I was 26 years old ... For me we had the best team in the world. It
was extraordinary. To share it with millions of people. It was magical. Talking
about it after ten years, I am still shivering. World Champion, it wasn’t easy
and it’s once in a lifetime…
Your victory went beyond sports, raised hopes within French society. There has
been talk of a "bleu blanc beur" generation. We saw that this dream didn’t come
true in the future. There were riots in the suburbs...
Z: That’s life, which is like that. One would have to be world champion every
two or four years. Society has continued to evolve independently from the World
Championships.
Jamel Debbouze said: "Scoring twice with your head in the World Cup final, when
your name is Zinédine, that’s a gesture of political significance"...
Z: It has a huge scope, but for me it remains in the dimension of the pitch. The
consequences afterwards... Inevitably, even for me life has changed after these
two goals. But in the end, only the field interests me. And by the way: Why do
people appreciate me? I should never forget: [They appreciate me] because I
achieved something on the pitch. That’s it. Not for what I said or thought
outside of that. I don’t want to ever lose sight of that. I don’t want to become
spokesman for anything.
How do you see your future?
Z: First there’s my present. I released a DVD that I want to talk about. I
invested in it, in the shooting, in the montage. Normally I talk to my relatives
before I start such a project. This time, one of the few times in my life, I
made the decision alone. With this DVD I wanted to pay tribute to the people
surrounding me. And then [I also wanted to] leave a trace for my children who
have never seen their dad play. I had confidence in Stéphane Meunier (director
of "Les Yeux dans les Bleus"), I agreed for him to enter my privacy in my home,
he met my family ... I preferred [this documentary] to a book.
You know that a biography about you is planned?
Z: I heard about it, yes. I heard talks about it. I didn’t want to write a
biography. I preferred to make a DVD myself, I didn’t want to let other people
talk about me. The problem, as I never speak, is that some people want to talk
in my place. But I didn’t want to contribute to a book, periodically, without
being involved. Even less did I want an unaspiring book like those where they
plant nonsense about Johnny or someone else.
You mentioned Johnny Hallyday. In October 2003, he said he was on holidays at a
clinic for blood reoxygenation, a facility that you had recommended to him...
Z: I don’t know if Johnny really said that. We have already crossed path two or
three times, but when he says that he changed his blood with Zizou ... I have
never visited a clinic with Johnny. Never in my life! The only thing I do for
twelve years now is to go to Merano Henri Chenot. It’s kind of an improvised spa.
[It’s] a cure that helps to get toxins out of your body. For one week, they pay
attention to what you eat, you get massages.
Why didn’t you respond to the article which led to the suspicion?
Z: I can’t spend my time responding to everything that’s said about me. Many
things made me mad and this encourages me even more not to speak up. The recent
example that comes to my mind is a business magazine. They wanted to talk to me
about a certain topic but they didn’t understand that I didn’t want this article!
All my life I tried to protect myself so that I could live a life as normal as
possible. I don’t want to sprawl myself everywhere! Later, when they do it for
me [talk] and then say nonsense, I am always disappointed. But I can’t go to the
point where I refute everything that is said. Thou shall not worry. It’s
pointless headaches.
What will you do in six months?
Z: I have no plan but I want to return to soccer. But if I should tell you how,
in what kind of way... I don’t know.
In Marseilles?
Yes, but not at OM. I have a project in Marseille that I try to put in place
with my brothers and friends. The idea is to build small pitches in a synthetic
car, because, in Marseilles, when you are with a bunch of friends, you cannot
say 'I am going to play soccer for two hours. " In Marseille, this doesn’t exist.
You can play on a vacant square, in the street ... There is no space for playing
properly. The project will be to create a true sports complex for urban soccer.
Small pitches on which you can play in ten (two teams of five) with real goals,
with a video system to rewatch the images, a clubhouse to watch matches ... More
fields accessible to schools, associations, in the neighbourhoods north of
Marseille. For kids who never have access to it neither from close nor from afar.
The council has joined in, it remains to be seen in what way. (The city of
Marseille has agreed in principle. The treasury and consignment board also work
on the project.) But now it's going to become reality. For me, this is something
concrete, useful and enjoyable. [It’s] something real that can change things on
a daily basis. That’s the soccer I love, the one of sympathy and fun. That’s the
one I want to develop.